Have you ever wondered how you will survive something difficult, or why God permits suffering in your life, or in the life of someone you care about? When you face something disappointing, worrisome, or difficult, and wonder how you will endure it, I invite you to find meaning and purpose in my favorite mystery of the rosary.

Our faith gives us the beautiful tradition of the Holy Rosary, a series of repeating, familiar prayers that form the background for contemplation of twenty great mysteries from the lives of Jesus and Mary. These mysteries of faith are full of meaning and purpose. And, even though we will never fully understand them during our lives, these stories offer us opportunities to deepen our capacity for love and understanding.

My favorite mystery is the fifth Joyful mystery, the finding of the boy Jesus in the temple. I lean on this mystery during difficult times, and when someone I care about is suffering, I fold them into my prayer during this mystery. The gospel of Luke describes this event in Jesus’s life:

Now his parents went to Jerusalem every year at the feast of the Passover. And when he was twelve years old, they went up according to custom; and when the feast was ended, as they were returning, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem. His parents did not know it, but supposing him to be in the company, they went a day’s journey, and they sought him among their kinsfolk and acquaintances; and when they did not find him, they returned to Jerusalem, seeking him. After three days they found him in the temple, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions; and all who heard him were amazed at his understanding and his answers. And when they saw him they were astonished; and his mother said to him, “Son, why have you treated us so? Behold, your father and I have been looking for you anxiously.” And he said to them, “How is it that you sought me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?” And they did not understand the saying which he spoke to them. And he went down with them and came to Nazareth, and was obedient to them; and his mother kept all these things in her heart. – Luke 2:41-51

When I was young, I found the story of Mary and Joseph searching for Jesus and ultimately finding Him in the temple after a three-day search particularly perplexing. I wondered how Jesus could do this to His parents. I would picture myself in this scene, watching Mary and Joseph agonizing, searching, rushing, panicking, desperately searching for their young son. They must have been utterly exhausted after three days and nights. Why did God allow Joseph and Mary to suffer such an excruciating wait? Why doesn’t Jesus apologize for the worry and fear he caused his parents?

Surely Mary and Joseph were perplexed as well. “Son, why have you treated us so?” Mary asks. “Behold, your father and I have been looking for you anxiously.”

As I grew older and became an adult, this gospel continued to mystify me. It made me uncomfortable. And, after I became a mother, and experienced from time to time that terrible pricking feeling that all mothers experience when a young child is not where they are supposed to be, the Christ child’s actions to purposefully separate himself from his parents for three days seemed even more heartless. Why would Jesus do this to Mary and Joseph? In particular, why would Jesus knowingly hurt his parents, those parents, whose purity and holiness have no comparison? Was Jesus heartless? Was God heartless? Surely not, and yet I didn’t understand.

Then one day a priest spoke on this gospel and he explained that God permitted Mary to experience the pain of separation from her precious son for three days while he was in the temple in “His Father’s house.” Her suffering at this time was part of God’s preparation for Mary for the separation she would experience from her adult son Jesus when He was crucified. Jesus rose again after three days, and Mary’s finding of the boy Jesus in the temple after a three-day separation prepared her for the excruciating sorrow she endured while her son suffered on the cross. Surely a reunion between son and mother was never more joyful than when Jesus reunited with Mary after the Resurrection. It was all worth it! Mary had trusted in God’s plan, and in this episode, as in all aspects of her life, she provides us a model of faith, hope, and love.

For me, that homily was a lightbulb moment. Of course! God had a plan for Mary. Although she did not merit suffering, God had a plan for Mary like he has a plan for each of us. He knew that the terrible anxiety Mary experienced during a three-day search for her son in Jerusalem would prepare her for an even greater separation during and after Jesus’s death on the cross. Sometimes, God permits suffering in our lives to prepare us for something that only He knows we will face later on. Sometimes He permits suffering to help us grow in compassion, humility, or understanding. God can use even the most terrible circumstances for good if we learn to trust in His providence and protective care.

Sometimes, our dreams are not realized; sometimes, we face illness or a difficult pregnancy; sometimes, a child or a student makes a disappointing choice; sometimes, it seems like the work that we do in the home, office, or classroom isn’t making a difference; sometimes, we disappoint ourselves. Sometimes, God calls us to endure hardship and trust in His providence. May the joyful mystery of finding Jesus in the temple remind us that God had a plan for Mary’s life. And, because God loves us, may we remember that like Mary, God has a plan for each of us. Sometimes we will experience joy, and sometimes we will experience sorrow. Let us look to the lives of Jesus and Mary to help us grow in the hope that even our suffering can be part of God’s plan if we have faith.

For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. – Jeremiah 29:11

AUTHOR: Jill Kerr, Grade 7 Teacher